the sun came at just the right time

Upon waking this morning I woke with a sense of urgency, like I was late for something. I turned with the sunshine peeking through the window to see the clock stare at me 6:30am. how lucky was that? I forgot to set the alarm and wake on the exact time I was due to get up.
for the first time in a couple of days I smiled, a real true smile. What made me smile, you ask.               the sunshine.
that to me, was a glimmer of hope that things will be OK. It was quite the improvement from the sky high anxiety of the night before.

this journey that I am on, has been kicked into high gear. My biggest fear, that even when I reach my milestones one by one I will still lose everything that I love. How can I not feel that that is my destiny with the way the cards have been dealt?
by trying and me being such a sore loser, that's how~~

wandering into unchartered waters

for about 3 months now I have been training for a half marathon. the mini is still not for about 3 more months but I have made huge progress, going from about a 9 minute mile to under 8.
the decision to start this training sort of came from no where, i knew that i wanted to be more fit, have more stamina, and be able to keep up with my athlete of a boyfriend. don't get me wrong was i by no means out of shape, just out of practice. i needed something to grab my attention and give me a swift kick in the ass.
within this process i found out that a demon that has haunted my family for my whole life had returned once again and meant buisness. my sister the unfortunate victim once again has been brave and courageous beyond words. in no way did i think that the big C would attack her again, but here it is. as it destroys her body, her mind and soul just get stronger. it has impacted me more than i thought though. the first time she had it she was a baby and i was 2, and jealous and not understanding of why she got all the attention and i got none. growing up to be each others best friend it's tough to think of what if...

april 27, 2011 will be a day to celebrate for the rest of my life and i am so happy to be starting that chapter! i have the support of my friends and family and here we go..........