Boston Strong

The Boston marathon is today. Today an American male won for the first time in almost 30 years. Records were broken all over the womens field. An amazing day for the race and the town itself.
This year i was not there.
I did not see this live.
I headed out on my own marathon this morning at 8:40 am central time. The elite women were already on their way.
To give me strength I had my Boston hat and my Fellow Flowers shirt "you can not destroy the will of a runner" on and ready to go.

The first 5 miles were humid and i was feeling good. It started to rain, no not rain, pour. It was a warm rain though and i wasn't going to turn back. My body felt strong and I knew i was going slow but to finish was the goal for today. So for the next 15 miles it rained.

There were times during this run where I cried and instead of choking them back i let them flow. I cried for the race i didnt have, I cried for the fear i felt, I cried for the lives lost, I cried for the pain that still remains everywhere. Still i had a smile.

When i run i dont bring my phone, today i did. When i reached 26.2 and saved my route i looked at my phone. My husband wrote an amazing post about our journey on facebook. Upon reading that with the emotion of what i had just done was truly overwhelming.

When i got in the door i heard that an American had won! Meb had accomplished something that he had been so close to before. i watched the live feed from the race and it was not through clear eyes.

For a year I have not been able to read, look at, or hear about Boston without choking up. I avoided the papers and the tv on the anniversary, i couldnt handle it just yet. The pain was still so raw, it still is honestly. To see my friends give the race a go or another go is amazing.
I knew i had to try to deal with this raw reaction in my way and to run the distance again was all i could do. today i ran with a purpose thinking about the bad race i had and how i was feeling at certain mile markers. today added to the miles i have been building since saturdays' half marathon. 54 for three days.

My Boston time was 4:24:47. My time today 4:16:38

It is true that you can not destroy the will of a runner. it can be broken or lost, but not destroyed. It may take years to revive itself but it will be back.